this is the most unbearable day of my whole life...the only hope there is if i could existentialize it. throw it to planet oblivion and get it lost in the black hole, as well as my other haunting feelings that have been echoing my thoughts ever since yesterday. and today, and a few hours more. tears seeping through my closed eyes the whole afternoon, blurring my vision as i type an e-mail a few hours, reading an immensely romantic paperback (that still has cynical humor god, that kept me sane) and listening to my randomized winamp of more alternative than r&&b tracks but for some funny reasons all the cheesy songs just kept on repeating itself like there is no tomorrow.
which is what i feel right now. cheesed, and all the spark in my life has been sucked by the vacuums of despair. i swear when i see myself in the mirror, i see a dead person staring back, no light shone through my dark eyes, and i aged in a matter of hours. a walking, talking corpse, and my face just a deathly pale. smiles weren't possible. a weak chuckle might escape every now and then, but it was as much as i could give.
hope you're alright ♥
i still love you ♥
you know that. *hugs*