this is the most unbearable day of my whole life...the only hope there is if i could existentialize it. throw it to planet oblivion and get it lost in the black hole, as well as my other haunting feelings that have been echoing my thoughts ever since yesterday. and today, and a few hours more. tears seeping through my closed eyes the whole afternoon, blurring my vision as i type an e-mail a few hours, reading an immensely romantic paperback (that still has cynical humor god, that kept me sane) and listening to my randomized winamp of more alternative than r&&b tracks but for some funny reasons all the cheesy songs just kept on repeating itself like there is no tomorrow.
which is what i feel right now. cheesed, and all the spark in my life has been sucked by the vacuums of despair. i swear when i see myself in the mirror, i see a dead person staring back, no light shone through my dark eyes, and i aged in a matter of hours. a walking, talking corpse, and my face just a deathly pale. smiles weren't possible. a weak chuckle might escape every now and then, but it was as much as i could give.
hope you're alright ♥
i still love you ♥
you know that. *hugs*

dammit, okay star wars episode II isn't what i've been expecting at all. and yes i have to finish my deadlines now or be doomed to eternity later. so i won't blog much, the layouts i've fixed for my site will be postponed till the nth and i would officially be detaining myself from eating and sleeping and to work on this. Now that i am having a bad case of writer's block.
i just got snail mail from poetry.com saying my poem was chosen for the audio compilation. this is the second best thing that happened today.
The best thing that happened today is we play 3 hours of battle realms and we didn't lose. Not once. to stuffy old zymeth. Haha! Take that! i have strengthen my strats with the help of jr. and few miscellaneous wolf tips from rrl and jep. thankiee.
jin then nosied his way to the pc to play a lil 1 on 1, which struck me laughing silly as jin's peasants killed his spearman.
all the way saying "run my peasants, run!" vetz and i doubled over with laughter.
by the way, anyone knows there a decent and not so expensive digital cam / digital cam / web cam?
gotta go work...

typing this offline...oh, wait, i'm online again... whee. i have this uncanny feeling of weirdness again. (it keeps on attacking me, and frankly i'm out of tranquilizer darts to keep me sober.) gling even told me i'm just not myself today.
okay fine i miss him okay?. i'll stop(will try to) typing up mushy sentences here, i can hear you barfing already. and i'm being whiny.
and so here i am. thinking for another layout....my version 3 would probably be version 3.99 hehe well exaggeration... i'll have to fixed up my writings so they won't be too sloppy, yet they won't be about a hundred pages. the guestbook is half-finished. just need a decent image to go way up there and it'll be set.
what's a link exchange? i know it sounds stupid but is that where you exchange links? you give your url to her and vice versa? (okay not only am i freaky, i lost a couple of brain cells in the process too)...
i am willing to make link exchanges... =) (if you want your links here...that is) drop me a msg on email or on the guestbook all found in the complains part of the site.
i hate zymeth (the most intelligent AI in battle realms) he(she?(it?)) keeps on killing me and killing me and killing me and killing me and killing me and killing me and killing me....(you get the picture)
all because he trains faster than i do...when he reaches 80 something i'm only at 60...
which makes me vulnerable...yep, vulnerable, you know like sheep-in-the-big-city type of vulnerable?
which is totally an oxymoron, since i'm a wolf in BR.
anyone interested in helping the unfortunate one, you know where the complaints are...*sigh*

*rubs temple* ah thank you angela,
frances, and paul i (ayaaa gawa ka na kasi ng site mo eh! hehe). for the scroll bar commands hehe. putek naman ayaw magwork kasi naman internet explorer ko hehe 5 lang supot...kelangan pala ie5.5 or higher... *hmm scratches head*
the 1st official day without the pldtvibe account. i still have enough prepaid to probably last me for the whole remaining week. and frankly i doubt if i can fix the site to hook it up before classes. dammit.
i'm fixing up the layout and frankly it looks bad, it looks somewhat like this...

gagggggg!!!!! i'll ramble more later....

Funny...a few more pokes and something will flame...

bad hair day + emotional difficulties + zymeth psycho AI (asshole intelligence) lotuses + no good layout = one fine day
*deep deep sarcasm*

nothing like a good strategic br to whip up the nerves and calm your system...
oh by they way thank you for the table layouts ♥ . i was absolutely touched *smiley* it was a nice game of br don't you think? ;) we handled those wolves and lotus(es) good! *high five*. and by the way, all your units can hang by my territory anytime they want, ;) just like those cute archers hahahaha =).
i have a thing for those lovable horses in battle realms.especially when they get close to the peasants....hearts just float up the screen like the :lovesigh: smiley in the PEx forums....hehehe *happy*
maybe another round would set me to Nirvana...whehehe....

i hate it when creativeness struck at weird points of the day (midnight). especially when i'm forbidden to stay so late online and when my mom saw me disfiguring (weh?), and totally murdering my innocent pic and making into into a yucky digitally enhanced image. i have three, the second one sucks like hell, and i'm totally sinking into the pit of despair. (hey, i read it again, it rhymes!)
i need some *hugs* =(, good music, and some ♥ lovin` ♥ =(
hope you're okay....*hugs*. i love you so much! ♥

hmmm looking on that spongey-wongey thingie up there made me think....
*brainstorming*

*stumped* unhappy and feeling very very crappee (as Ginnalou would say) krappeeeeee....
...now i know i really suck at layout's. i spent hours drooling over my co-webteam member's site. and found out my experitse in HTML has gone from mediocre to medically needed assistance. i don't know CSS. and itty-bitty (and i do mean itty-bitty of bittiness) in flash, and none about Php, jscript (considering i know java), and other html add ons...hell, i don't even know how to use stupid macromedia dreamweaver and i stick to notepad...which i don't think, is a very healthy option for me.
basically i need professional help.
calling all co-webteam member masters, after we finish our project baka kaya niyo akong tulungan sa layout ko for my version 3 that is really not being very cooperative at the moment, *cow-eyes*. in fact, "mukhang tae talgah".
sainya.
i have this very bad habit of saying that awful word.
*boinkself*

yes! it's fixedddddddd nynahahahahahhahah!!!!! i'm the king of the wwwwwwwooooooorllllllllllld
(duh) sue me it took me whole of last night and this afternoon to get it looking this way...
stupid br's
BWAHAHAHAHA....
(aaaaaah, you can see the stupiditiness(?), the stupidness (?), ah whatever!)
sainya.
basta ayos na nyehehehheheheheheh....
(more blabberings of the semi-insane freako)

i still can't fix this damn blog thingie to make it perfect in my preferences. *damned* hmm after about 5-10 changes i'm still stumped. Happy Mother's day to all the mothers out there. It reminded me of the funny conversation i had with the waiter at Pacific Warf at Powerplant.
Me:1 apple crisp.
waiter: okay, now?
me: yup (then turning to my sister) no, the next 2 thousand years...*yeesh*.
After that we had french fries toast with my cousin. and a few small talks about the ever grossly popular spider-man, which i read in an aritcle on Inquirer which had features of upcoming superhero movies like a new superman flick, x-men2, fantasitc four, ghost rider, a catwoman film, the incredible hulk and a spiderman sequel in 2004. it was hilarious, like every director is bitten by the superhero bug.
I decided why don't they mix it marvel super heroes VS capcom that kinda thing?
Then we started inventing our own flicks
x-men VS westlife
spiderman VS a1
marvel superheroes VS westlife
Britney VS n`sync
all that sh*t
and all that stuff...
pardon me, i'm just blabbering away...

argh..just got back from Xiamen China, yes, and being back in hot, muggy, Manila was a pleasure, i can sleep in my own bed, snuggle contentedly on my pillows and wrap myself around my own blankets without my sister yanking the covers on the double bed we had when we were at Holiday Inn, the only good thing was it had unimited Internet access *oh, joy*. And the horrors of seeing and hearing Chinese there speak! i was baffled, confused, and basically in *gak* mode...and i cheered and hurrahed every pinoy i met in China. yes i was being stupid and idiotic but sue me, i miss too many people, i missed my pc (but i did consider swiping the beautiful slick black dell p4 pc's hehe even if it has nothing good inside...)
yes, it's good to be back slouching and fattening my @$$ in my pc. even if we have a lot to do....aah i should let tasj consider into firing me, the sleazy lazy bum...(tasj if you're reading this joke lang hehe!)...which reminds me i have to get the template hehe...
i miss my winamp! my mp3s! good loud noisy alt tunes would help calm my freaking nerves which are reacting, they might be feeding on too much caffaine on the brain branch of starbucks....*sighs in deep contentment* Gin Blossoms are vibrating through my speakers. troubled thoughts still consume me along with paranoia, ESPECIALLY paranoia....oh, i pardon the first few entries of the blog, let's just say i had difficulties of hooking up my blogger, it took about a millions clicks, thousands of rearranging in the ftp, hundreds of profanity cursed out by the ever wonderful mouth of yours truly, and voila crude (plain blog white background times new roman *yuck*) but working, good good. i still don't have any layout. my head is exploding with different thoughts. i don't know databasing. and it will be needed for the lscs website...frankly its ruining my doing-nothing of a vacation, but i really do hope i get something out of this...*hopefully*
if i don't die first bwehehe...
what font describes you? -times new roman (the description says im boring and useless, well i am boring, and overly useless)
what car are you? -range rover
what mcdonald's product are you? -hamburger
what is your high school label -hippie
what wb sitcom are you? -dawnson's creek
-->results of a boring afternoon several weeks ago and a couple of quizzes found on our s19 forums.

hoyyy piawxi

hmmmmmm....sainyaaaaaaaaaaaaa

hmmm let's see if this works....