I miss writing poetry...
here's a new one I made...

The Forgotten Doll

You used to hold me,
cradled me.
never left without me.
You danced with me,
brushed my hair
look into my clear brown eyes.
dressed me nice.
Showed me off your friends.
held me, until you fell deep sleep.

Now I sit alone in a shelf.
Dirty and dusty.
my hair disheveled.
my eyes kept closed.
dresses that were white are ashen gray.
you had new toys to play with.
I would watch in pathetic envy.
As you give them the same care I had then.
and I would still Longingly wait for you to come play with me.

If anyone has read the notebook and hasn't shed a single tear, you are one sick person who doesn't feel the magic of love...

This song made this version, out of my unartistic hands, I felt the music and here it is. It's one of those songs that I can relate to,
not to mention its so beautiful...

If you are not the one
then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you are not the one
then why does my hand fit yours this way?
if you are not mine
then why does your heart return my call?
if you are not mine
would i have the strength to stand at all?

you never know what the future brings
but i know you're here with me now
we'll make it through
and I hope you are the one i share my life with...

I don't wanna run away
but i can't take it, i don't understand
if i'm not made for you
then why does my heart tell me that i am
is there any way that i can stay in your arms

if i don't need you
then why am i crying on my bed
if i don't need you
then why does your name resound in my head
if you're not for me
then why does this distance maim my life
if you're not for me
then why do i dream of you as my wife.

I dont know why you're so far away
but i know that this much is true
we'll make it through
and I hope you're the one i share my life with
and I wish that you could be the one I die with
and I pray that you're the one I build my home with
I hope I'll love you all my life.

cuz i miss you
body and soul so strong
that it takes my breath away
and I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
cuz i love you
whether its wrong or right
though i can't be with you tonight
you know my heart is by your side.

testing again...

I haven't been writing. I will come back soon enough...

new hiatus layout

Thank you for making my valentine's day one of the best i ever had.
...*hugs*
I love you ♥

A tribute for someone special.
I went to a bookstore near our place to buy some cards.
After I got my change I hear the lady at the cashier said in chinese
(she's so young to have died) or something similar to that.

I eyed at her curiously and she told me.
"Wala na si Sia Sien..." (sia sien is dead).

Something inside me made me numb. I said to her. "What?"
She nodded then told me she died at the hospital at 3 pm.

Where was I at 3 pm...eating ice cream and manning the booth.

Now, come to think of it, she wasn't a relative, in fact she was the school's disciplinarian,
she is the strictest one I know, in fact, she's the only one I know, one step of her high
heeled shoes in the hallway would make students scamper back in the classrooms. everyone sort of loathed her.
Even me, in some way. But I know she's just doing her job. She's this unbreakable brick wall
that you cannot knock over with bambi eyes and cutesy gestures.

But when I graduated from high school, I begin to see the real side of her.
She wasn't the monster everyone claimed. In fact, I can talk to her just about anything.
She can crack jokes and she's really pretty when she smiles despite she's almost over 50 years old.
During the summer days where we were hastily finishing the yearbook, the group would talk to her asking for suggestions
She was extremely nice, and frankly, she became one of my favorite persons despite she would always tell to pin my hair,
pin my id, say my skirt is too low waist, etc. etc.

Sometime when I had the time during my first year in college, I would visit her. And she would say
"Oh, baket ka nanaman nandito?" (Oh, why are you here again...)
I would always tell her. "Wala lang, nangangamusta lang..." (Not much, just dropped by to say hello)
I remembered how she told me "Someone sawed off a piece of the desk..." and I said. "No way!". She nodded and
pulled a long piece of a wooden ledge from her drawer and I stared at it laughing.
The scary thing during those sessions was when she would ask me almost an advice on what to do about disciplining and stuff.
She would tell me about 5th grade students gambling or the boys who were writing in their notebooks because they were in a
fight.

YOu know how she relaxes? Go home, read up the newspaper, eat and sleep. So simple...
and I was glad she shared it to me...her feelings of tiredness, how she felt old and all that...

It was really nice.

But, time flew by and I began to be so busy, I couldn't even go into her office. even if it was about 5 mins away
Also the fact she was out the school early because last year she suffered cancer and I thought was recovered as she went to
the states and had some medication done...

There was always a time in my mind that I would want to go and see her, but it would always slip away...
Now she's gone. I didn't even know she was at the hospital.
I didn't even know she was dying...
I kinda miss her...

She wasn't only a good teacher/disciplinarian
She was a really good person.
And she was a friend for me.

A place in my heart felt really empty.
Walking towards ichigo this afternoon, I suddenly prayed while walking.
That somewhere in heaven there is a place reserved for her. And she would go straight there.
This is a tribute to my friend, and my disciplinarian
Ms. Lucita Sia.

I won't be writing here.

Everyone is busy.
Too busy to do anything special anymore...

Sometimes I had a feeling valentines day can be overrated.
TO the point many people kept cussing how overated it is.
And to the point that sometimes they even make it a bigger deal on how everything is related to hearts and flowers and googly eyes and cow eyes
and bootsy baby bumpkins and all that snoogly woogly stuff.
Frankly. To those who think of that way. Sure do your own shit.
And as for the cussing-holiday ones, do also your own shit.
Sometimes I feel those who kept saying how shitty valentines day is can't get over some stuff.
Stuff they can't really deal.
Whoever they are. Hopefully. They would just stop it with the riot acts.

made a few changes on the links part.
well. off to the shower.

So, I'm alive.
(I keep saying that to make sure it's real).
I know you've missed me (lol, feeling). But yes, I've been away a lot.
Christmas was spent at home with viral infection and a stuffed up nose with red pocks on the skin.
New year spent drinking cider.
Now school's here and the workload is piling up.

I'm missing you terribly. Even if we just met a couple of hours ago ♥

Alas, more slides to print, and more things to deal.
I bid thee farewell.
*hastily exits*

Über refresh needed for newcomers.
If you see a layout none other than purple. It's the wrong one.
Forget about it.

So, I'm alive. Semi- alive that is. Version 5 seemed to be taking up more time than it should
since I really don't want to bore you with the ring hiatus. Might as well bring back a regular looking site
so you would see at least some of my usual nutty posts and endless ranting nonsense.

So, here it is, enjoy, don't forget the guestbook.