i should be shot dead.

i got the beatles anthology from my dad ( a gift from us )
and 50s or 60s music is humming through my speakers
*kewlness*
i feel very vintage.

this is the day where the world seemed so cruel and unfair.
i am caged in my own judgement.
as no one wants to listen what i have to say.
maybe one day, i will speak.
...listening to the sound of your voice, made my day seemed brighter.
thank you very very much..
kahit feel ko parang galit ka sakin =(..

-snippet from hoobastank's crawling in the dark.

Help me carry on
Assure me it's OK
To use my heart
And not my eyes
To navigate the darkness

Donna Marie:
Your world, good or bad, revolves around your family. You are determined and loyal, and your word is your bond. You have a great deal of loyalty to those you love. You have much inner strength. You can handle details well. You have a methodical mind. You must learn to give 'wise' service and not be a martyr. You have much enthusiasm with a driving attitude toward achievement in life. You are always involved with projects and things to do. You have a need to be up front. You enjoy a challenge. You can take thought-directed actions. You are relatively demonstrative in your affections. You enjoy being stroked verbally and physically. You can be quite inventive and quite curious.

/**while editing this entry, i smell pizza, Pizza Hut to be more precise*/

Ting:
You are an overly sensitive person, often falling into a savior-martyr role. You are very skeptical and have more than your share of bad luck. You need to learn to give and receive love for love's sake. You have a need to be assured of affection. You must learn to give 'wise' service and not be a martyr. You are a hard worker when you make up your mind to do a job.

Lee:
You are fair-minded sometimes to the point of being opinionated. You have a strong need to be loved and appreciated. You need to learn to be expressive. You are a person who cannot tolerate being misunderstood. You need to learn to be expressive. You are a person who cannot tolerate being misunderstood.

plug: she's my 100th guestbook signer

by the way, anyone interested in making me a new layout...
la lang...

the evil in me sinks back into the deep waters...
but may resurface...

this is a wastefulspace version.
here nightmoon doesn't exist.

i can't stop crying.
..i don't know why.

ako may mali.
i'm sorry.
i tell this to the whole world...
i am the evil person.
i am the one who makes him change.
if you see me cry
it's because i have hurt him.
and if you see scars on my wrist.
it's for all the guilt and for all the pain.
....

pagod na pagod na ako.
pagod na pagod na ako sa mundo!!!

Big Machine
Ecstasy is all you need
Living in the big machine
Oh you're so vain
Now your world is way too fast
Nothing's real and nothing lasts
And I'm aware
I'm in love and you don't care
Turn your anger into lust
I'm still here but you don't trust at all
And I'll be waiting
Love and sex and loneliness
Take what's yours and leave the rest
So I'll survive
God it's good to be alive
I'm torn in pieces
I'm blind and waiting for you
My heart is reeling
I'm blind and waiting for you

Still love with all your sins
Wher you stop and I begin
And I'll be waiting
Living like a house on fire
What you fear is your desire
It's hard to deal
I still love the way you feel
Now this angry little girl
Drowning in this pretty world
Oh who you run to
Swallow all your bitter pills
That's what makes you beautiful
You're all or not
I don't need what you ain't got

I'm torn in pieces
I'm blind and waiting for you
My heart is reeling
I'm blind and waiting for you
I'm blind and waiting for you
I'm blind and waiting for you

i am so f*cking evil.

maguupdate na ako
version 4.0 will come out september
...pero it will depend on the outcome of my grades on the course cards...
if i fail even 1 subject, i will drop this site.

i am scared.
...
...

i wish everything was back to the way it was before....
i miss the way everything was use to be so happy...
so beautiful
...so full of ♥

GENERAL INFO
Date: August 19, 2002
Starting Time: 8:07pm
Birth Date: 1984
Name on Birth Certificate: Donna Marie Ting Lee
Age: 18
Location: Manila, Philippines
E-mail: nightmoon@ekobalumik.com, angelmoon_8@yahoo.com
Colour of eyes: brown
Hair: dark-light brown
Height: 5'1
Shoe Size: 5 ½ to 6, 7 on sneakers
Brothers/Sisters: 2 sisters
Whenz ur bed time: any time I feel like it

HAVE YOU EVER
Ever been so drunk you blacked out: no, I am a moderate drinker HA
Put a body part on fire for amusement: uh, I hate heat. I can’t even shower on medium temperature only when it’s cold
Been in a car accident: nope, a bicycle ran past between my legs. It didn’t hurt, just humiliating.
Been hurt emotionally: sheepish
Ever had an imaginary friend: yup,
Wanted to hook up with a friend: hook-ups like short term? No.
Cried during a Movie: hehe tear jerky people éclat.
Had a crush on a teacher: no…
Ever thought an animated character was hot: kenshin himura wahahhaa.
Had a New Kids on the Block tape: wek!
Been on stage: singing, spelling contest, math contest, presentations, danced, etc.
Cut your hair: duh. Whatta question.
Been sarcastic: oh, you’re funny.

FAVORITES
Shampoo: clariol herbal essences , never found another shampoo as good as it!
Color/s: Blue , black, gray, white, silver, violet, dark shades.
Day/Night: mostly nights
Summer/Winter: I love the rain.
Lace or satin: cozy feeling of slippery satin. I REBEL LACE (ever since as a kid)
Cartoon Characters: not much
Food: anything edible, delicious, and appealing
Advert: what’s an advert? *stupidity*
Fave Movie: clueless, starwars, city of angels, mighty ducks trilogy
Fave Ice Cream: chocolate chip, and all sherbets
Fave Subject: English, objectp in weird cases, and not much lunch maybe ^^;;
Fave Drink: ice tea, dalandan soda, mule, tequilla

RIGHT NOW
Wearing: barefoot, dark bellbottoms, pink(a disgrace to my rebellion to the wretched color) and white striped polo shirt,
Eating: finished (Would really love to.)
Drinking: blah blah
Thinkin bout: him and my OS project.
Listening to: red Hot Chili
Talking to: myself
Watching: screen of pc

IN THE LAST 24 HRS
Cried: i can't remember.
Worn a skirt: no.
Done Laundry: yeah
Drove a car: no, I miss it though

DO YOU BELIEVE IN
Yourself: no, usually, yes, rarely
Friends: yes
Tooth Fairy: then
Santa Claus: then, then my overly conventional friends told me santa claus are just our parents. *spoilers*
Destiny/Fate: yes.
Angels: YES
Ghosts: YES.
UFO's: Uh, don’t think so.

FRIENDS AND LIFE
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend: uh, yeah technically ^^.
Like anyone?: *see above question* MORON.
Who's the loudest: me, sometimes si harmy.
Who's the weirdest: ako parin.
Who do you go to for advice: him, friends, God
Who do you cry with: myself, with him
When you last cried the most: when he said he needed time, when he said he wanted to leave me. and when my mom shouted all those profanities and lashing out all her anger to me, making me feel like the most evil child ever created.
Whats the best feeling in the world: Being in love and being loved back. Happiness, lots of hope, and lots of faith.
Whats the worst feeling: rejection, hate, depression, anger, loneliness. Helplessness.

my mom threw away the anklet you gave me
ARGH!

insecurities insecurities insecurities....*sad*

are you mad at me? *sad* ...
why do i feel i am the source of your vicious anger...=(

AUGUST IN BETHANY by brett detar (The Juliana Theory)
with the sounds of the ocean crashing 7:30 friday evening everything comes tumbling down i choke back each tear that bleeds i'd rather rest forever in your arms i'd rather stay here than go but i know that i should leave as i sit here helpless don't go you said you wouldn't you said you couldn't i think of our time together is it fading am i dreaming everything you said lives on i cherish our memories i want to kiss your tears away tonight it's hard to give up the one you never thought you'd leave don't go your eyes see through my soul don't go you say as i walk out the door
...
what a sad song,
to the person who recommended me the song: it is beautiful *sniff*

wala akong kwentang anak.

...
i meant every word i said,
when i said i love you, i meant, i will love you forever...
*unhappy*

what a sucky introdb test that was, it's as if i was looking through Greek and was going nya nya...
after an hour i was just looking at the paper and not doing anything...what a fuck.
i forgot all fucking syntax of sql
what a fuck!!!!!!!!!!

i feel very distorted.

all i ever wanted is to love and be loved...
all i ever wanted is to love and be loved...
all i ever wanted is to love and be loved...
all i ever wanted is to love and be loved...
all i ever wanted is to love and be loved...
all i ever wanted is to love and be loved...
....all i wanted was someone to care...
....

now i am on limbo
i see no clear path.
*tremble*
i'm just wasteful space.
non existent to this place.
not existing in your &heart;
i shiver in the coldness.
i long for your caress, you warm touch
that seem make my molecules swim dizzyingly in a pool of sweet desire.
now cold air sweeps through me,
the tears stains on my cheeks became visible.
my whole world could've shattered in that instant...
now as you are not here.
left, with not much of a goodbye.
and it is just hours since you said that you needed space.
that you needed time.
because you cannot stand the pain
of looking through the tears in my eyes....

i am wasteful space.
wasteful space in this world...
to them i will mean nothing.
i'm just a stupid not-so-ordinary girl.
i might as well be non-existent
who will be nice enough to care...
i don't have anything to dream
dreams no one whom i could share.
i'm just wasteful space.
never fitting in.
never will be anything in any place.

i don't see myself as myself. bitterness and tear stains have been my friend. i will always lurk in the depths of darkness.
sunshine and bright eyes were dimmed.
rainfall and black clouds reign.
life diminishing
and soon the soul vanishes to vapor.
and the world would continue on.