There wasn't really much to say...
THe past few weeks i've haven't written is the past few weeks that i've done a lot of thinking.
things that I don't want to see, things that i didn't really want to happen

but it did.
So I'm wasted I'm so wasted

The Mutuality doesnt exist anymore.

The Love is there. The affections and desire and longing is existentialized.

Say good-bye to the layout you see.

Tis will be gone soon...

Tis such a joy to lie in bed with someone you love beside you, watching their sleeping face Isn't it such a wonder how you can be so close, to caress his cheek, to smoothen his hair, to lightly touch his lips against yours, as you both sleep. Your hands clasped together. Turned together for warmth.

And he never turns away.

Wonderful is a man who never turns around to face his back on his watching wife, or his sleeping love.
---
We all have things to worry about,things to meddle about, things to take care of...in the insane attempt to juggle everything.to do my research paper, my re-debate, the finals, and other things that are piling up.

the thought of you, with your big brown eyes, your smile that light up a million dark and sad things of my life, your coffee cream skin, your lovable hugs and kisses...your beautiful love...

suddenly even if the world was against me, its okay.

because,

i have you...right?
you love me...right?
we need each other...right?

right....?

anyway,
i love you...

If you see this version it means I'm alive.
Now, due to the truckload of work I've encountered, I haven't even placed a decent thing here.

so, I welcome myself back into the web-world.

Ja.

ewan ko ayoko na nga magpost.

What an extremely busy week that was...
hehe. I'm glad its all over...........


Oh, I just have to say something...

I love you....

"the irony gods are playing at me again."

minsan lang nga maging madalas na masaya
bat niyo pa ako kinulam nanaman.
di na ba kayo nakontento parati nalang may gumugulo sa isipan ko.
masarap bang gawin akong isang puppet na kayang kaya niyo ako controlin sa bawat galaw ko.
alam na alam niyo paano akong tumatawa at umiiyak
alam na alam niyo anong nagpapasaya at nagpapalungkot sakin.
kaya ba masarap paglaruan ang damdamin ko?
porket bang marami akong kasalanan, at maraming pagkakamali
kailangan niyo bang lagyan pa ng di lang asin pati pait sa loob ng puso ko.
baket ba ako nalang...
magkatapos isang oras sa kakasabi ko lang na maayos ang lahat.
heto nanaman kayo...

The Ataris-In this diary

Here in this diary, I write you visions of my summer. It was the best I ever had.
There were choruses and sing-alongs, and not a spoken feeling. I’m knowing that right now is all that matters. All the
nights we stayed up talking listening to 80’s songs and quoting lines from all those movies that we love. It still brings a
smile to my face. I guess when it comes down to it...

Being grown up isn’t half as fun as growing up: These are the best days of our lives.
The only thing that matters is just following your heart and eventually you’ll finally get it right.

Breaking into hopes of swimming pools, and reeking havoc on our world. Hanging out at truck stops just to pass the time.
The black top’s singing me to sleep. Lighting fireworks in parking lots, illuminate the blackest nights. Cherry cokes under
this moonlight summer sky. 2015 Riverside, it’s time to say goodbye. Get on the bus, it’s time to go.

Being grown up isn’t half as fun as growing up: These are the best days of our lives.
The only thing that matters is just following your heart and eventually you’ll finally get it right..

--

yep. I wish I wasn't grown up as I am. I wish everything was just full of fun and games and laughter and love.
Stupid people, why did they make life so damn complicated.
Why can't we just follow our hearts...

(sigh)

whoahoo...new blogger thingie layout...
aaaah i just wanna say v5 is coming.
i hope that the irony Gods didn't hear me.

can i also wipe out today...?
when i got home, love songs crooned on the radio...
good timing that was.


2 am...and the rain is falling
face to face with the crossroads once again
you're telling me you're so confused
you can't make up your mind...
ladeedah...can't remember


i'm sorry...

all i wanted was to existentialize yesterday
yeah, it's tomorrow already
but all i felt was being trapped in yesterday's memories
all i feel is yesterday.

I wish there was a way to existentialize this day.

the day in vain...=P

The most beautiful sound in the world is:
cheesy as it may seem, you have this incredibly sexy, sweet way of say I'm sorry and I love you.....

pics! pics! pics! :)) enjoy


why are we so sad? not


my view of the classroom


artsy fartsy shot


not listening in advanse


me and nix


me and nix again


nikki with thumbs up


nikki trying to look angry...


nikki's playing with my cam, took a shot of his phone


my favorite notebook and my pen


we had a short quiz for competh, check out my answers haha.


guess whose eye this is? :P

alone in this empty chair
I whisper your name.
-new black car

Home alone on a sunday afternoon.
No one's here except me and the shadows of this house.
Gonna order pizza later.
Actually I'm not hungry
I don't wanna eat lunch.
I wish you're here.
But you're not...

new ppl at clouded hugs
another rainy day.

Yey another hiatus layout for me.
It's back to school time for me. and the other fellow Lasallians..
classes were suspended today.
So i hauled butt to the pc and make this forgetting the summer layout.
As the dark sky pounced into the limelight
clouds seemed to be hovering much...

ah don't forget to tell me how much you ♥ me
hahahaha I mean sign the guestbook :))

oyasumi nasai my friends :))

so i was able to run php/apache. but the server is all shitty. it won't stop when i want to or start when i want to

what an ass.
my version 5 is totally in cinders. i have made 2 decent splash for 2 different version 5s and haven't progressed after that.
yes it is a tough call to be partners with procrastination. *sigh* anyway school is starting on the 26. I'm seriously not feeling it.

i have to hussle.
oh yeah currently playing something called everwars a
text based multiplayer game kinda like diablo.

if you want to join click here to be my squire :)

well be leaving you with a pic of me


oyasumi nasai minna-san...

PHP/APACHE learning day 1:

I have succesfully downloaded apache and php.
So far, I have zero capabilities of running/using it.

Magaling donna. (Great, donna) *sarcasm*
This sucks.

I am starting to drive. Yey.
Ayos. Pero tanga parin tsaka marami parin nambubusina/nagoovertake sakin.
(Its cool. But I'm feel stupid as there are still too many vehicles honking/overtaking me).

I am driving our silver 'matic altis. I heard something about my dad buying another car! a honda...AYOS. I hope he would. I want a car of my own. Now that I have a non-pro driver's license(sp?), and I can take cars out now by will. Bwahahah. To hell with me whatever will happened if i'm on the road.

So far the only routes i've traveled is from house-lasalle and back. And driving on Taft Avenue is total hassle. You'd think uy, dere-deretso lang yan (it's straight all the way), but with rampaging buses, overtaking Fxs, and crazy stops of jeepneys, add the throng of people who would cross the street frantically. Let's say the car ride wasn't pleasant.

I almost barged into a person ... whoops.
Anyway. Someday I'll drive to school with my own car. I hope.
(dream on.)

agree with me that this is one of the most romantic things seen...

*swoons*

let's see i have my lower braces tightened.


IT HURTS LIKE HELL!

Let's see
2,999th visitor = she who named me crising
and
3,001 = me


So, who visited in between??
WHENK!

Anyway I got my non-pro lisence today
WHEEEEEEHEEEEEEEEEEE

by the way if you're my 3000th visitor TELL ME!!!!!

I got back from enchanted kingdom. I might post a few pictures.
We got there around 3:30, went to the park at 4 and rode rides until almost 7:30
we rode rio grande first
and basically we left web butt marks all over the place.
flying fiesta
rialto
space shuttle

dried off the arcade.

ate a few
rode anchors away twice
rode wheel of fate.

went home
and im fucking tired...*yawn*
oyasumi nasai minna! (good night everyone)
God Bless and Take Care
I'm off

I am currently studying japanese...and so far I am not progressing as much....
*bows*
Konnichiwa minna-san!! :)
that's all for today...:)
ja ne watashi no tomodachi!

Another hiatus layout. I am pathetic. I cannot bring myself into getting a really decent version 5 layout.
Basically the days of summer promised boredom and fatigue. I am playing diablo II lord of destruction again. But in hardcore mode.
Modem's busted and I can't play ip games with another windows 98 user damn shit. I might switch an OS due to that.

Anyway laters

Just got back from subic. will try to tell you as much as I can. my eyes are drooping and I'm yawning at a rate of 1/every 5 minutes

as much as the north expressway was said to be bumper bumper due to the excess roadwork, we zipped along from manila -> subic bay free port roughly around three hours. once we got there, we [which consisted of my family, tita grace's family, and my godmother's family] piled out from the car to welcome to humid hot weather. the sun beating down like hell, and we rushed towards the checkin house of binictican homes.

Day 1

now, upon getting the keys, we got in mango street to see our 4 bedroom house, plus the smell of something terribly nasty. (eg. dead rat). to settle into such an odiferous crib was beyond our means and mom called the people in charge. Whom apologized a great deal and lead us into the VIP home.

Blooper 1:
Dad: We're leaving.
Me: Why?
Dad: Because the place is so...so...
Me: Smelly?
Dad: Because the place is so odor.
*laughter*
From mango st. to antipolo and here's the house



Blooper 2:
Lunch was served, while me and my 6 year old godbrother started to sing the PCSO song. but the lyrics goes like this.
Me: ganyan ang pilipinooooo, ganyan ang...
Meil: P-S-ES-Moooooooooooooooo.

The playground is accesible at this point. But the sun was too hot. So we had to wait to go out. And yes me with the digital camera brought out the vanity in everyone.









This was the only place we've gone through at day one. I didn't get any pics of that. But I remembered screaming when Karl (tita grace's son), Neil(my godbrother), my sister kept pushing me harder and harder on the swings. there was a small stone wall infront of me. which was about 5 feet. my feet were passing over the wall a good 4 or 6 inches. and I was swinging near around 60-70 degrees.

Talk about reliving your childhood.

The playground group got back to the house and played cards, I called for house service to bring a pack for the older kids to play (me, my sister, ann (Karl's sister), Karl, and Nikki(my godsister). A round of pusoy dos and some 1-2-3 pass lead us to heart attack, at which we were screaming whenever the right card was dropped onto the floor.

While Dad and Ninong searched for the beach. The mothers got busy prepping dinner. Menudo, dumplings, barbeque and fried rice.

It was a stuff-a-ton. The kids were comfortable with each other now, and I got to talk to ann. (which I thought was a total snob). but she's not.

Day 2

The early birds got to go to camayan beach to reserve for cottages. My dad, ninong, neil, my sister went, carrying the grill, essentials, and others. It was almost a 15-20 kilometer ride. as it is buried in the depths of subic. and when we got there. all cottages were already leased. at 9:00 in the morning, they opened at 7.

figures.

Dad paid, and of course my sister, neil and i scurried to the beach.



who would not gape. It was not near boracay, but the sea was blue green and deeper blue out on the horizon.

I can't wait to swim. in fact, I was itching to dip my feet into those crystal clear waters. Neil couldn't wait so he slathered himself in sunblock and ran. Dad gave in and said we can go and change.

Can you believe I saw a tropical fish on the shallow parts of that beach? it was yellow and white stripes. amazing! But my quest was to find shells. Armed with my purple goggles, I splashed around dived, and looked for shells.


my collection


the boob boys. whom have been a sport to be buried in sand complete with breasts and easter egg nipples.


me and my sister in our sarong.


That afternoon we got a cottage on the far end. where my sister and I got snorkeling gear and it was, well. the headgear was easy enough. the flippers were hard to manipulate. they float, they're long, and fuck I know how a penguin feels like.

Nikki also found a shell, with a living creature stuck to it. A crab. a little miniscule crab they call herman, or peter, or hermit.



Before we went home, we had to set herman / peter free to his own world. since he can't possibly live off in our red bucket filled with sand/sea water and corals. No to mention we don't know a thing about crab care.



there he goes, skittering at the shore. My flip-flops got all wet again and I went to the car with sand encrusted feet.
we cruised to the mall/supermarket puregold and royal subic, bought some after sun-care lotion for my tosted back, clariol herbal essence shampoo, lots of clam chowder, mounds (THIS IS THE BEST CHOCOLATE EVER), and kisses.

had another food fest of filipino cuisine. bangus barbeque marinated squid shrimp and yes tomatoes, shrimp paste (yum), and salted egg.

slept early. watched the mummy.

Anyway, not only did I had a good day. you messaged me with sweet little nothings. which made me smile.

Day 3

everyone got off a late start.


ah, yes, the perfect sleep look, my back hurts from the burn.


our bedroom view with the morning sunshine. :)


me and my sister again.

we piled into our cars and headed to JEST. Jungle Environment Surivaval thingie. They teach you how to do stuff in the wild in case you get stranded.

the speaker was extremely funny, and corny. But I loved about the whole training was when they fed us bamboo water straight from the plant. It was absolutely refreshing. And he made me a spoon and fork out of bamboo.


From my spot, beyond the trees you see the bay, and the mountains.

We also went into this amazing butterfly environment where we saw beautiful colored butterflies batting their wings in flight towards flowers and sugar trays.
my sister's yaya (nanny) caught one and let it down on my hand. it was orange and white and it romped around before flying away.
We caught it again and just had to take it's picture.


it was struggling to get free.


here's another one.

I also caught one. but it wouldn't rest in my hand. Oh well.

Neil, Nikki, my sister and me also rode horses! I tried to, I was bouncing off the saddle. trying to gain balance. Trying to "stand" when my horse sadistada was galloping.





cute riding hats were provided. Not only it's cute but it also provides good proctection. It also gives you that tiniente (sp?) look. like a jockey.


of course my dad who was a horse racing fanatic and my ninong also tried it on for size.


group pic at the equestrian center.

saddle sore, looked around at the malls more. I found this cute skirt. but it looks ugly on me. I didn't buy it.
Ann, Me, Sister played chinese checkers at home before our steak dinner. played marco polo, persuaded my godmother to drive us to cosmic bowling.

Me: Pleaaaaaseeeeeeee
Ninang: Don't bug me...
Me: (starts to sing) buggggging you...it's easy cuz your so beautiful...
*ninang cracks up*
Me: please...we want to play billiards.
Ninang flicks it to the billiards competition. : Watch this.
Me: Noooo we want the actual thing.
...
...
after hundreds of persuasions ninong and my dad gave in. We piled into the starex to cosmic bowling
after 10 minutes we got out. it was too fucking hot.
So much for that.
..
the old people slept along with my sis, Karl, Nikki, Ann and me continued the chinese checkers match, at 1 am, we were still not in a sleeping mood, so i grabbed my cam and we went in a frenzy.






we conked out at 2 am..

Day 4

woke up at 7, ate, fixed my stuff. and just made some last minute pictures.



do you agree with me that ann is really really pretty?

the kids went to the egg hunt, i stayed at the house, got back in manila at around 2 in the afternoon had lunch at president, and I'm totally wiped out.
HOHO that about sums it up.

That is probably one of my really long entries.

Off to subic the next day.
And my mom is yet again on my case.
All because we didn't say we're going to the mall just to buy a few stuff and head home.

Ah yes. And she exploded into the exaggerations of the yesteryears. Me drifting apart etc etc.
*roll eyes*

What's new.

When they days grow boring and my mood tends to go wild.

a couple of us are going over laughing are heads off at non-uglies. this community over at livejournal where they judge who's beautiful and the not-so.

And guess who was totally insane enough to submit a few pics and see what happened....

oh yeah. me..
nasira na siguro kokote ko noh.

Anyway after 12 no's someone telling my i look cute, needed chapstick and all that shit. I got a good laugh, considering those should've hurt my feelings and made me cry.
Yeah. Right.
But anyhow, you know whom i should think of trying their pic at nonuglies?
vetz. definitely
LOL
I'm not kidding.

Can I just say something?

Sometimes I don't really get people. The way they flaunt and scream their right answers for everyone to hear. If you're right, fine don't scream it madly that you got two mistakes and the world ended. Don't tell me you can't STAND not being able to have a 4 on this dreaded fucking calculus subject. Worse of all, TO SQUEAL THAT YOU BEING YOU the overconfident little shit that you are.

especially when some other people here who are soooo unfortuunate enough who hasn't got a big enough brain to fill in the dents made in Iraq to be able to just get a 68% to save her life and get a passing grade in calculus.

Talk about lowering my self-esteem to the brink of extinction.

There i was worrying my own shit, then had to comfort bianca, and then there they were.
Shitting about their answers and I'm perfectly sure they (who are in the overexuberant field of being too intelligent for their own good) only got a couple of mistake, kept talking. Me muttering like an idiot. And I told them off. And frankly I don't think they got a clear point on what I just said, considering they ARE SMART. They should be smart enough to SHUT UP sometimes.

Tangina niyo talgah. Makarma sana kayo. Kahit mukhang impossible.
sana talagah.

/** Oh yeah. My anmath finals were...well ...just pray for me...

After the exam, my brain was mush, and many apologies to fellow bmia's nixie and cat have fun though. babawi ako.

tasj and bianca and I went to rp just to forget the exam. We ate at tokyo tokyo. Ranted. Me and tashy bought shoes!!!!!! Haha it was totally unexpected.

Tasj was the only one looking for a pair of shoes. We went to kickers and I saw this to-die-for blue orange and white slip ons. ACK it was even on sale ( i hate my credit card ) 1,770 Php. It looks totally adorable. I got permission from my dad to get it using my card (so, he won't have a fit for seeing a 1.7k bill on the day of the charges)


(the cutest shoes :))

And so here comes finals week.
What to study for :: Anmath3 definitely.

Things to give notice to.
Theocom.
INTROAI
INTROSE

The project demo went a-ok. the mp to be more than presentable. The ais work well, there were even spiffy error messages.
I finished the documents. And I got about an hour and a half's sleep. And I had to be hyper. I reported. Greyson maneuvered, finished the game, me explaining in hyped mode.

And the thoughts of failing AILPROJ is a mere distant dream.

Gotten home at 3 and made a few calls but to no avail then slumps down on the bed. and slept,
woke up around 430, wanted Rafferty to burn some cds I mumbled "5 o clock"
slept, and woke at 6 pm.
mumbled an oh well then zzzzzzz away until it was 730.

Will be zzz-ing again in a few.

To keep myself from going into hysterics I will write a few.

Blooper # 1

Cold as it was in the library, I headed into the sunshine in the middle of the road. Slowing down and warming myself from sun. matching staring up to the sky
yeah, I look so damn autistic.

Blooper # 2

Me seeing g401 empty tried calling greyson for information sa hearts.
He picked up after two calls
"ANO KA BA NAGTETEST AKO" he screamed in a whisper
"Sorry" Me hungs up. feels like a dork.

Blooper # 3

Programming check pile for hearts
kept writing TEAMPLAYER# instead of Tempplayer#
feels utterly stupid.

..I'll get back to my project.
I'm just happy you're still paying me attention during your study time ♥
*happy*happy*
later.

I'm only updating on my hiatus version.
this is version take me away.
I'll be back with v5 after the finals.
And if I pass maybe.

Then the hell day was officially over.
yesterday started by a feverish review of caculus with friends from the s21 class, after the calculus exam, it was followed shortly by my ARGH-HOLY-TOOT-TOOT theories of computing departmental (yeah, about 10 minutes after and my mind is in this absolute state of near breakdown and mush.)
not only that after the quick lunch, a haul to the sports complex for kleenex. and skivvied back to the gox building, changed into my business suit. black blazer, black skirt, and my light blue blouse, got good luck kisses from you ♥ and went into the auxilliary room. haha. The defense was filled with inquisitive questions from one of the panelists, and they left the egg tarts. Probably because of being in a hurry, I called one of the panelist back, told them we love these egg tarts and we want them to have it, which brought them a laugh. (now, I made Ms. Wendy laugh also). Anyway, I headed to 306, got a vb book from greyson, gave you a flying kiss and a wave goodbye and left school for my sister's graduation.

Embarked on a journey into a different campus with only 10 bucks on my pocket was a big mistake, and hour of sitting on the built in stools around a fully grown mango tree and ants scurrying about, I got extremely thristy, wandering around my sister's unknown campus and found out their h2o costs 12.

Shet.

Anyway, cheers for the drinking fountain.

After the grad, we had dimsum, I ate sherbet, went online, talked to some people.

I missed posting....^^

Critique for Intelligence without Reason:

For the fact I have once again procrastinated due to immense load of work, not to mention this hovering friend of mine called laziness, here I am slaving away at two in the morning typing up my critique. Which I believe I am just jotting down random blathering instead of the said critique. As this caffeine induced student of yours had just got her 4 grams of coffee kicked in her system, and is now typing up a storm of nothings.

(please ignore above paragraph, but I hope it made you smile even wanly).

Intelligence without reason which is the title of the gory twenty-two page article is indeed missing when reading the pages of the five different main points. Unless I am too sleepy to decipher it’s hidden meaning. Upon reading the last page, he [the author] even admits to the readers the title is indeed ambiguous, which means I am still alive at some point and I still understood the article while I was dozing off and kept injecting coffee to keep myself awake.

I found it very hard to jump from its different viewpoints. Maybe also the fact it was somewhat boring. The statements made might be a good read if I probably had a master’s degree specializing in Artificial Intelligence or Robotics for that matter, after all, reading those immensely deep technical jargon was too much for a sophomore student, well probably not the one’s who has a brain the size of well, let’s say Marceniño Bautista if you know what I mean. Maybe if I had a computer dictionary…

But going back to the article, I’d say it had taught me on the evolution of the constantly changing Artificial Intelligence Systems, never knowing that the only way of searching was to place the search algorithms in assembly language…ASSEMBLY! ASM, COMOLAB, registers, at present I was only doing addition and subtraction, and there they were 20 years ago implementing search trees on itty-bitty spaced memory, now we have LISP, we have PROLOG, and I’m glad. People envisioned having computers think like humans long before there were good computers that do AI for RTS games like Warcraft III (go Night elves!). Not only that, countless robots can now do your housework, and probably your homework but is banned in probably 500 states, play soccer, and can be your pet (now this rivals Richie Rich’s maid Irona). And the next thing we know, we’ll be in a star-wars era and have a C3PO friend hovering around us getting gas in their system, while we have the usual of pizzas and chicken.

But of course to live in that vision, (like the article said), we must first change the way we think of developing these systems. We are doing a good job, but it is not so good. To understand the problem we must understand ourselves first. The complexity of the human mind is still to big to break down into the parts where it will hold the key into inserting it through the locked doors of the perfect AI. So, instead of looking for the dratted key. Go search for a window. Or maybe a backdoor. Find different alternatives, and be diverse in looking for any possible solution. And maybe we can make these Intelligent systems better.

...
...
I wonder if Sir Raffy will kick me out of his class for passing that.

master host person is ALIVE!

Yesterday I took the jeep home.
Upon going down from the jeep, I see the streets being empty, so, I didn't look back towards the upcoming traffic,
without realizing a speeding fx was hurtling my way.

If the little voice in my head didn't say look back at that split second I did,
well...let's just say I might not be writing this entry right now.

I looked back saw the fx whizzed by me, I stepped a small step back but the distance between me and the fx was only a couple of inches more. I felt the exhaust, the wind trailed, and the bumper nearing my pant leg. and it whisked away. Me unharmed.

Someone was guarding over me that day...♥

*sigh*
Movies I wanna watch:
Maid in Manhattan
Chicago

I wonder if my favorite movie partner is seeing this...*hint*hint*
*hugs* for you
i ♥ you... :)

My father, the chinese patriot

(After passing a ped xing sign)
Dad: What do they mean by ped xing?
Me: Eh, pedestrain crossing.
Dad: Really! I thought it was a chinese related thing, words in chinese are usually in X, Xiang Xing, Xi etc.
(Me thinks of rolling my eyes)
Me: Hehe.

(Conversation about the ped xing rambled on)
Dad: how come it's not Pedestrian Crossing? Or the illustration?
Me: I think they're too cheap to put the whole word and people may not understand the drawing.
Dad: But why ped xing?
Me: Eh. Well Pedestrian Crossing sounds like Ped Xing...?
Dad: That shouldn't be the case...*rambles on*

Really, my dad can be a nut sometimes hehe =)

Weh.

Some nut messaged me at icq....

346162198 (7:31 PM) :
pangit pangit mo raw? (you're really really ugly)
donna (7:32 PM) :
talaga? mas pangit ka
:) sige i dont waste my time talking to losers like you...
goodbye

(really? I think you're even uglier..well i dont waste...goodbye)

hahah what a dumbass

I miss writing poetry...
here's a new one I made...

The Forgotten Doll

You used to hold me,
cradled me.
never left without me.
You danced with me,
brushed my hair
look into my clear brown eyes.
dressed me nice.
Showed me off your friends.
held me, until you fell deep sleep.

Now I sit alone in a shelf.
Dirty and dusty.
my hair disheveled.
my eyes kept closed.
dresses that were white are ashen gray.
you had new toys to play with.
I would watch in pathetic envy.
As you give them the same care I had then.
and I would still Longingly wait for you to come play with me.

If anyone has read the notebook and hasn't shed a single tear, you are one sick person who doesn't feel the magic of love...

This song made this version, out of my unartistic hands, I felt the music and here it is. It's one of those songs that I can relate to,
not to mention its so beautiful...

If you are not the one
then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you are not the one
then why does my hand fit yours this way?
if you are not mine
then why does your heart return my call?
if you are not mine
would i have the strength to stand at all?

you never know what the future brings
but i know you're here with me now
we'll make it through
and I hope you are the one i share my life with...

I don't wanna run away
but i can't take it, i don't understand
if i'm not made for you
then why does my heart tell me that i am
is there any way that i can stay in your arms

if i don't need you
then why am i crying on my bed
if i don't need you
then why does your name resound in my head
if you're not for me
then why does this distance maim my life
if you're not for me
then why do i dream of you as my wife.

I dont know why you're so far away
but i know that this much is true
we'll make it through
and I hope you're the one i share my life with
and I wish that you could be the one I die with
and I pray that you're the one I build my home with
I hope I'll love you all my life.

cuz i miss you
body and soul so strong
that it takes my breath away
and I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
cuz i love you
whether its wrong or right
though i can't be with you tonight
you know my heart is by your side.

testing again...

I haven't been writing. I will come back soon enough...

new hiatus layout

Thank you for making my valentine's day one of the best i ever had.
...*hugs*
I love you ♥

A tribute for someone special.
I went to a bookstore near our place to buy some cards.
After I got my change I hear the lady at the cashier said in chinese
(she's so young to have died) or something similar to that.

I eyed at her curiously and she told me.
"Wala na si Sia Sien..." (sia sien is dead).

Something inside me made me numb. I said to her. "What?"
She nodded then told me she died at the hospital at 3 pm.

Where was I at 3 pm...eating ice cream and manning the booth.

Now, come to think of it, she wasn't a relative, in fact she was the school's disciplinarian,
she is the strictest one I know, in fact, she's the only one I know, one step of her high
heeled shoes in the hallway would make students scamper back in the classrooms. everyone sort of loathed her.
Even me, in some way. But I know she's just doing her job. She's this unbreakable brick wall
that you cannot knock over with bambi eyes and cutesy gestures.

But when I graduated from high school, I begin to see the real side of her.
She wasn't the monster everyone claimed. In fact, I can talk to her just about anything.
She can crack jokes and she's really pretty when she smiles despite she's almost over 50 years old.
During the summer days where we were hastily finishing the yearbook, the group would talk to her asking for suggestions
She was extremely nice, and frankly, she became one of my favorite persons despite she would always tell to pin my hair,
pin my id, say my skirt is too low waist, etc. etc.

Sometime when I had the time during my first year in college, I would visit her. And she would say
"Oh, baket ka nanaman nandito?" (Oh, why are you here again...)
I would always tell her. "Wala lang, nangangamusta lang..." (Not much, just dropped by to say hello)
I remembered how she told me "Someone sawed off a piece of the desk..." and I said. "No way!". She nodded and
pulled a long piece of a wooden ledge from her drawer and I stared at it laughing.
The scary thing during those sessions was when she would ask me almost an advice on what to do about disciplining and stuff.
She would tell me about 5th grade students gambling or the boys who were writing in their notebooks because they were in a
fight.

YOu know how she relaxes? Go home, read up the newspaper, eat and sleep. So simple...
and I was glad she shared it to me...her feelings of tiredness, how she felt old and all that...

It was really nice.

But, time flew by and I began to be so busy, I couldn't even go into her office. even if it was about 5 mins away
Also the fact she was out the school early because last year she suffered cancer and I thought was recovered as she went to
the states and had some medication done...

There was always a time in my mind that I would want to go and see her, but it would always slip away...
Now she's gone. I didn't even know she was at the hospital.
I didn't even know she was dying...
I kinda miss her...

She wasn't only a good teacher/disciplinarian
She was a really good person.
And she was a friend for me.

A place in my heart felt really empty.
Walking towards ichigo this afternoon, I suddenly prayed while walking.
That somewhere in heaven there is a place reserved for her. And she would go straight there.
This is a tribute to my friend, and my disciplinarian
Ms. Lucita Sia.

I won't be writing here.

Everyone is busy.
Too busy to do anything special anymore...

Sometimes I had a feeling valentines day can be overrated.
TO the point many people kept cussing how overated it is.
And to the point that sometimes they even make it a bigger deal on how everything is related to hearts and flowers and googly eyes and cow eyes
and bootsy baby bumpkins and all that snoogly woogly stuff.
Frankly. To those who think of that way. Sure do your own shit.
And as for the cussing-holiday ones, do also your own shit.
Sometimes I feel those who kept saying how shitty valentines day is can't get over some stuff.
Stuff they can't really deal.
Whoever they are. Hopefully. They would just stop it with the riot acts.

made a few changes on the links part.
well. off to the shower.

So, I'm alive.
(I keep saying that to make sure it's real).
I know you've missed me (lol, feeling). But yes, I've been away a lot.
Christmas was spent at home with viral infection and a stuffed up nose with red pocks on the skin.
New year spent drinking cider.
Now school's here and the workload is piling up.

I'm missing you terribly. Even if we just met a couple of hours ago ♥

Alas, more slides to print, and more things to deal.
I bid thee farewell.
*hastily exits*

Über refresh needed for newcomers.
If you see a layout none other than purple. It's the wrong one.
Forget about it.

So, I'm alive. Semi- alive that is. Version 5 seemed to be taking up more time than it should
since I really don't want to bore you with the ring hiatus. Might as well bring back a regular looking site
so you would see at least some of my usual nutty posts and endless ranting nonsense.

So, here it is, enjoy, don't forget the guestbook.

yes new blog layout. wahoo

test

taena ano ba to. arghfulness.

ayos na kaya tong blog blog ko.