This will probably will be the stupidest entry ever.
Sure, I will write something coherent, something that will produce a mental image in your mind, but it will just be all about the bull in me.
I'm not saying I'm bull. I'm not really saying I'm shit or something, no reason to be harsh on myself. After all. I'm just saying what I feel.

I might be of this idiot. oh by the way the hucoint exam went well. And really nothing can comprehend myself, not me or my mind. I'm just this walking talking piece of well not trash, I'm a walking talking human being, well, all human beings walk and talk right? Well, not all, the mute doesnt talk and the cripple doesnt walk.

Now, what becomes of me? I'm still the normally insane girl, still figuring out what's her little role in the big world. I'm still this digressed writer. writing stories with no in-betweens and ends. I'm this computer science student who just seemed to be grazing through the classes. her mind wandering aimlessly. Seemingly starting to drift off and think about the more beautiful things in life. loving, giving, the horizon, good books, the computer icq, and whatever that makes her heart soar to the moon.

I don't know what I like anymore. In fact, I'm thinking so much, that I don't think of what I think of anymore.Which results me to being this incomprehensible being that seemed to look perfectly alright, but a lot of things have covered the walls of her crying heart. Darkness maybe, or something.

So, ano ngayon, life goes on. No one really did understood her. Labo kasi eh, di niya alam ano gusto niya yun tuloy nagagalit mga tao sa mga tampururut niya or whatever you may call it. Some did understood, at least, some tried to, yung sa una.

I am not myself. I have to be careful. People might take me the wrong way, people will be angry if I do this and do that and do everything i desire. I cannot plan my own defense or my own little strategies, since they almost always backfired, resulting to those unforgettable sighs and murmurs of displeasure and discontent. Sometimes right in my face, sometimes behind my back. Others just shouted without tact. Better best to just slap it in my face..rather than me going about the pain of knowing it from others.

hard enough, I am also a martyr. First one to make a mistake, first one to say sorry, first person to go and try to patch things up. Forget me, other people first, it said so, puts others ahead of herself.

but, really, whats is the point of everything written here? nothing much. Just something out of nothing. Also, I tend to blow off in the wrong place in time.

"ayan naman galit nanaman si Donna"
"ayan nagtatampo nanaman si Donna"

Now, of course, it would be my fault, because I'm the moody creature from planet somewhere.
So, please, if someone else thinks it's their fault, it's not.
Don't blame it ... as far as I'm concerned, if it weren't for the overdosage of the bitch pills with fortified whine and extra crappiness, someone wouldn't be so pissed off.

Now, I brood it over with myself. usually it always goes that way. I just keep stewing my own goat. or chicken. or whatever the hell I want, then it boils, the simmers, then cools down. Some drinks this awful concoction, but better best leave it alone.
Then Off I go to the Tra-la-la land where the birds sings and the flowers bloom. When my little precense will send the dark clouds coming and the thunders to errupt, the lightning to strike and the rain to pour.
Icy, icy coldness.

I closed my eyes to the pain.
Closed my heart from all the things that have struck me to the extreme points.
I live in the unreal world.
my world, where it just revolves around love and not all the materialistic stuff designed from hell to make the wonderful things extinct and the new innovations seemed to further disintegrate the minds of people of diminishing their innocence and purity.

I wonder if my innocence and purity is still there.
What the hell again am I doing here?
Oh yeah, writing something bull--> coherent.

How to love? love with the deepest of desire, the wildest emotions. Love with the purest of pain and the grief that could cry a thousand rivers. Never be afraid to hurt, but never hurt intentionally. Forgive the past mistakes, and live the present. And look forward to the wonderful future happening right now. It's all about 60 40. Difficultly arises, but love will always find a way. It is paired with Hope and Faith, gentle and fiery all the same time. Never mind what people will say, or if the whole world is against you, you and me against the world, is how the way I will love, I love you and the whole world conspired with me to help me find you (barok na quotation galing sa The Alchemest).

Hate? Forget Hate. But we are imperfect. In God's eyes we are, we just keep forgetting. Ayan. kaya nagkaaaway, tampuhan. Walang understanding. We keep on thinking how worthless we are that we don't deserve him/her, ayun tuloy the mind over matter shit really works.
It succumbs us so much. too much. We forget someone cares and love us. who'd be there.
What if suddenly everyone was just so preoccupied with themselves. busy with everything that is revolving in their little lives to notice the other people knocking at their door. Too bad, nakaDND kasi eh. Sure they would open the door then close it anyway after the acknowledging nod.

Good thing someone still opens the window for me. Kahit medyo mahirap umakyat sa bintana. kinda like romeo and juliet. but of course I'm there. I would always be there, too much already it's sickening, making someone blow chunks, spew guts, emit a Technicolor yawn because of my hovering presence.

People just laugh at me looking hopeless climbing that window. Sneer at my stupidity.
Others warned me, but nevertheless, this determination. Was the only light my only candle.

Or so i thought.
As the candle grew dim. Inside me, the luster remains the same, until it rusts.
Hope someone has a polisher in handy.

but in the meantime. I would close myself in my shell for a while. I would just wander aimlessly in the made-up world i live. Maybe I would come out feeling much better than I do today.

....
sige aral nalang ng anmath2 isa nalang...tapos start na sana ng bakasyon.

I made a Filipino snippet.

Minsan lang mangyari na ikaw ang nasa tuktok ng mundo niya.
na ikaw ang kanyang kinagigiliwang reyna.
isang magandang prinsesa na hindi niya kayang tanggalin ang kanyang mga mata.
kung minsan lang lumambing at nakaramdam ng saya na kasama ka.
At dahil sa pagkakamaling nangyari.
Bumalik ulit ang lahat sa dati..
dahil nagising na ulit sa katotohanan
ang babaeng nakapulupot sa isang magandang panaginip.
Nagiisip kung babalik pa ito.
Masasayang nakaraan.

english version naman.

It's not always how you will always be on the top of his world
that you are his utmost queen.
how he simply cannot tear his eyes away from the beauty that radiates upon you.
And how his love would burn like heat from the sun beating across the Sahara.
And how you relish those every single moment.
But one mistake made,
made it crash back to reality
as the girl woke up from the weavings of her sweet little dream.
thinking if it will ever come back.
The wonderful, unforgettable past.

Error 503: Unable to load template file. We're working on this. Please try back later.
this keeps showing up on my blog...any help how to resolve this?? =( it won't archive anything too =(

huwaaaaw
as my mother said, i got the sore eyes...yesterday.
but, i'm semi-well though, the red is gone. but i feel like my eye is uneven.
I just need to rest.
in short, kirat ako.
not to mention the eyelid of my right eye is visible.
I don't have natural eye lids..
not my other eye has and the left don't
ugh. mukha akong abnormal.
..ohh...hay
well just want to shout it to the world
MISS NA MISS NA KITAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ♥

some round of plugs
patricia

frances

...
...
my right eye is red.
Funny. it wasn't this morning anyway.
Probably something in the air...
now i keep pathetically flooding it with eye-mo...gahaha. and looking like i've been crying with only one eye, hope it heals though...finals is next week
*glances at mirror* looks much better than the whole red stuff...unggaaaaaah
...
anmath2 exam was a disaster. God. it will make the 2.5 average I have on the quizzes fall...ugh. hay
I got an 85 on the theopro exam though *jumps*
If miracles may happen, sana maexcempt ako sa distru na finals....YEAH RIGHT, the excemption line is 87.5
guess where am I? pfft 70...
anyway...

I think I will be sleeping early. my eye is just irritating me so much. ugh.
...
...
We ate at RP Burger King. ate pathetically small burger steak. gak.
But I had the most wonderful chocolate overload...*yummers*
I ate that because it reminded me so much of you. When we went present hunting with greyson and we shared that dessert...♥

I went back to lasalle to get my book and leave a post-it. and well, right on time. your reporting was almost dismissed and was I was greeted w/ a hug and a kiss.
Not only that, you, were just absolutely adorable...*wheeghee* *huggles*
well I'll be resting..
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!! i'll try and sleep. if the eye infection is gone, i'll be back on the pc. sa lahat pa ng araw talgah ngayon pa.
kung kelan gusto ko magrelax lang sa pc. hay.
blahblahblah... =P

Welcome to my christmas version! =)
Definitely the yuletide season is in the air.
plugs and plugs
sabine has a new layout!!! =)
sam
tasj
dianne
for signing my guestbook
...
...
I'm at school, tinkering on greyson ling's laptop. finxing up my christmas site.
and then I'm off to storing my other creative talents to make one of the best sites for my version 5.
well stop here...=) *huggles* to all.

now that the machine projects due are far behind me (the distru2 mp was passed earlier) I have some room to breathe.
Not to mention I was so pissed off. I'm really absolutely pissed. Too much arrogance was floating on the s17 classroom walls that was just emitted by only one individual/thing talk about wanting to throw a book at it.
My heavy leithold's calculus book. almost a thousand or two pages worth of all those calc equations and clunking it into it's big fat head!
Talk about a mile a minute of shit.
Can't really help it that time, kept muttering expletives, and snappy comebacks to myself loud enough for it to hear. and mainly was pissed. annoyed.

meanwhile. my site is on it's way for a christmas redesign. i will prolly fix it today. and when new year comes. wait for the 2k'3' revamp.
well will be fumbling with photoshop again. =P
missing you ♥

This day went awfully well.
Theopro mp done. (with some unknown bugs..gaah hehe *cross fingers* sana wala)
no theopro.
presented 'bangagly' in hucoint. but sir levi liked the site thank gulay goo.
Ate falling apart candy cane.
ate at carls. their barbeque cheeseburger is yummy but the price is way not worth it.
X_X
sige documenting distru....will be back with a much more proficient entry soon
i ♥ you honey! *mwah* sana marunong ka ng exam mo ^^

Well, Finished the Book and Student Module,
and arapotty is finishing it up. =).
Got back from greenbelt and smiled at the kids playing on the floor fountain drenching themselves silly.
Was writing documentation shit at Cafe Breton while slurping coffee for extra hype.
and missing you ♥ *gigil*
read student cut day (sweet valley senior year) at national.
Bought christmas cards.
Looked around for christmas gifts.
Ate at Oody's? for lunch. Their Pad Thai is way too salty Gaaah.
Now back to documenting the our MP.
Sige...I should be typing...